


If you just tried

by Kilanio



Series: UnderSpoil [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Child Abuse, Eventual Smut, F/M, Female Chara, Female Frisk, I'll add these as I go, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, poor Chara
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-02 16:01:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10947897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kilanio/pseuds/Kilanio
Summary: "heya.so, i've got a question for ya.do you think even the worst person can change...?that everybody can be a good person if they just try?"What if Chara actually tried?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first Arc of my UnderSpoil story, the 2nd one is going to be in a comic, that I'm already working on.  
> You can find it and ask questions here(or in the comments here):  
> https://underspoil.tumblr.com/
> 
> Thanks to http://youkai93.tumblr.com/ and http://niemandweiter.tumblr.com/ who proofread and helped me with the phrazing, cause i can't write to save my life.

The thin, freezing air burned in her lungs. Despite that, she was still grateful for every single breath she could take.

Just keep going. Keep going. That is what she kept telling herself. It was so cold up here. Wearing a summer dress was not a smart choice, she told herself.

Not that she could have worn something else. There was no time after all, she had to get away before he would realize that she was gone.

There was no way he would find her here. No one ever climbs up Mount Ebott.

Chara wasn't sure why people kept away from it but that meant that no one would follow her. Good.

She could already see the cave on top of the mountain. Her walking turned into running, ignoring the pain in her feet, the pain in her knees, the pain in her arm as she got closer and closer.

This wasn't her first broken arm but she could never adjust to the pain of it or the one from all of the bruises.

Reaching the cave was her highest priority right now. Just a few more steps and the cold and moist air hit her face, as she entered it.

A hole. Now that was something she didn't expect. It seemed like it was bottomless as she looked down into it, all she saw was black.

Perfect. Her plan had just changed.

Chara stepped right to the edge. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and then... she took the step.

The cold air whizzed past her, while she fell deeper and deeper...

When she regained her conscious she was laying in a bed of giant golden flowers.

How could they have been strong enough to break her fall?

Her whole body hurt, but oddly not as much as she would have expected.

She should be dead.

"I see you have come to, little one."

The dark figure that she hadn't noticed until now got up and took two steps towards Chara. Towering over her, he reached out his skeletal hand.

 

 


	2. Someone that can hear me

Someone that could hear her. Finally. Chara had been waiting for this day for countless days.

She tried to remember how many it had been, but all of the resets caused by the flower had made it really difficult. Flowey is what he called himself now. _Pathetic._ He didn't even remember who he was.

This human was the first one that could hear her. Maybe because she was about the same size? Maybe it was because of her soul. It was red like Chara's.

The royal scientist had told her about different kinds of human souls, even though there was not much information about it. On the surface world no one even talked about this sort of thing.

That must have been it. The red soul.

Frisk was her name and she was a good child. So trusting to the voice in her head. Chara could shape her in any way she wanted to. At first she encouraged Frisk to spare everyone, to be good, like Chara herself used to be.

Just lending someone else the power to save, load and rest didn't feel really satisfying though. Taking it from Flowey was a plus point, granted, but this was still not what she wanted. She wanted revenge and there was no way that she would get it like this.

“ _In this world, it's kill or BE killed.”_

Flowey's words kept echoing in her head. What would be the damage if she did kill everyone? She could reset. No harm done. Chara discarded that idea almost instantly. This was about her friends. About her family.

It didn't take her long to realize just how much the monsters she cared about had changed in those years. She still wasn't sure how many it had been.

Toriel and Asgore had split up. Toriel kept talking about how 'evil' he was. _Asgore? No way that fluffy giant would hurt a fly._

Sans the skeleton. Chara thought that she knew Sans, but when Frisk met him, he was nothing like what she remembered. He kept telling _terrible_ jokes that made her cringe but Frisk loved them.

Who was this “Papyrus” Sans kept calling his brother? She had to admit that she never spend enough time to get to know Sans while she was still alive but a brother? That was new.

Papyrus turned out to be a rather nice person, self centered, but nice. _Too nice. Weak._

The way Undyne had turned out shocked her. Undyne hated humans. Chara started asking herself if that had been her fault. When she first fell into the underground she had been friends with Undyne. Undyne and Asriel were her closest friends and every hour Undyne wasn't busy training or sleeping she spend time with them.

Alphys. _Who the fuck was that? This is supposed to be the “royal scientist” now? That was worse than just a step down. Nothing but a stuttering idiot._

_How could Frisk like her? All she ever talked about was anime. And that terrible, annoying robot who was a little too fascinated by humans._

Asgore kept her locket and knife. The only things that she still had from her life with other humans.

_Humans are trash. Humans should all die. **All of them.**_

_All of them but Frisk._

Chara couldn't understand most of this child's actions towards the monsters but they worked. Frisk made friends with everyone. Even with Asgore after she finally met him. He really didn't change at all.

_**Not true.** _

He had killed human children. That was unlike him but Chara understood why. Getting back to the surface. She blamed herself. She had failed breaking the barrier.

_**No.** _

It was Asriel who failed. Weak, _pathetic_ Asriel. _Flowey_. _The fucking weed just killed his own father_. Just because he didn't remember that Asgore was his father didn't give him the right to do this.

And still Frisk spared him. Frisk spared him even though Chara was screaming at her to kill the weed.

Chara stopped talking when Frisk reached the true lab. _They kept the tapes._ She felt herself forgive Asriel. Her best friend.

**Her best friend told Frisk that he thought Chara wasn't a good person.**

That's when hatred built up inside her once again.

_It's your fault I died. It's your fault you died. It's your fault the barrier is still intact. It's your fault the monsters are still trapped. It's your fault those six humans died._

_It's your fault, Asriel._

_It is all your fault._

And Frisk forgave Asriel. This stupid innocent child. She did it. She brought the monsters to the surface.

And everyone lived happily ever after.

 

_Everyone but me._

 

After a short while on the surface Chara began to whisper to Frisk in her sleep.

“ _Go back.”_

“ _You can reset.”_

“ _Have all this fun time again.”_

“ _Befriending everyone was fun, right?”_

“ _Do it again.”_

Frisk didn't listen. She was happy with how everything turned out. Everyone had a great time on the surface.

But then some unhappy times came. Asgore, was simply too honest, _too weak._ He just had to tell the Humans the truth. How he had got the six souls to break the barrier.

Of course the humans were outraged when they realized what he had done.

All too quickly the tides turned and the public that once welcomed the monsters now wanted to lock them up again.

“Maybe you're right. Meeting everyone again might be fun.”

 _How predictable this child was._ One thing goes wrong and instead of solving a problem Frisk just retreated.

Chara was pleased when Frisk summoned the reset button. Even more so when Frisk finally pressed it.

 

 

 

**RESET.**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapters will be longer, i promise.


	3. Too good to be true

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans had to realize that Frisk not only reset, but also changed completely.

Sans woke up bathed in cold sweat and looked around. His room. His room in the house in **Snowdin**.

“no... no, please, let this be a dream!”, he exclaimed.

_this must be a dream._

_frisk would never do this._

_sure things were kind of taking a bad turn, but that was no reason to reset._

_frisk would NEVER do this._

_would she?_

_did this friendship not matter to her at all?_

The skeleton got up from his old and worn out mattress, throwing the covers on the ground. Without putting on his slippers or his jacket he hurried through the hall to Papyrus' room and threw open the door to see his brother who was just getting ready to head out on duty.

“SANS?! WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DRESSED!??!”

“bro...”

He couldn't get out more before he sank to the ground.

_apparently she would do this._

Papyrus had stared at him confused for just a few seconds before going over to Sans and leaning down to him.

“SANS ARE YOU SICK, MAYBE!?”

“no, bro. i'm fine. just haven't eaten.”

“WHAT!?!? I PREPARED A PLATE FOR YOU DOWNSTAIRS! NOTHING WILL HELP YOU AS MUCH AS MY BREAKFAST PASTA! NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

“thanks, bro, you're the best.”

Sometimes he wondered if Papyrus knew that there was something bothering Sans. If he did he didn't let onto it.

Sans got up and stretched, popping his joints. He didn't want Papyrus to worry and quickly disappeared into his room. All to the start again.

_why was this so painful?_

_and here i thought i could finally have a future._

Bitter tears of blue magic filled his eye sockets. He had thanked this child for getting them out of the underground so often. Now this.

The room was dimly lit by his blue magic that was hard to control in moments like this. To avoid alarming Paps he choked his sobs into his jacket.

_**fuck this.** _

He got up and put on his jogging pants, pink slippers and the blue jacket. His skeletal hands brushed over the fur. He had properly sewn it on during his time on the surface but now all he felt were his lazy old stitches. The thread wasn't even the same color as the jacket or the fur. He had made this jacket some time ago, back when he still cared about this world. When he also had made Papyrus' “battle armor”. He added the fur later. When he already didn't give a shit. The timeline was going to reset anyways, _why waste time sewing if it won't last anyway?_

He really was back.

That also meant that Toriel was back in the Ruins. He sighed heavily and took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

Sans walked down and saw the plate on the table. There was a note next to it, seems like Papyrus had already left.

“I'M GOING TO RECALIBRATE MY PUZZLES IN CASE A HUMAN COMES BY, YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME! IT HAS BEEN WEEKS! -LOVE, PAPYRUS”

Sans chuckled. Still funny the second time. With a sigh he took the plate and sank down into the comfortable couch.

_i knew there was something i was really missing. this couch is the best, too bad we didn't bring it to the surface. will do this time._

After finishing the arguably terrible pasta Sans rinsed the plate off, using his blue magic. Good thing he had his magic, Papyrus had built the sink so high that even Papyrus himself wasn't able to reach it.

Sans reached into the fridge and pulled out a half empty bottle of ketchup.

_drinking in the morning is bad and paps hates it._

He put back the bottle to where it had been and settled for a glass of cold water.

Returning to this town felt weird. Everyone was where he expected them to be. Still weird after such a long time without resets. He should be used to this.

The Nice Cream vendor was waving him over to himself. Sans waved back and walked over, prepared to have this conversation again.

“Good morning, my skeleton friend.”

“mornin' bon.”

“Heading to your sentry station I presume?”

“yup. the usual. have you seen papyrus yet?”

“I think he is working on that floor tile puzzle. The one with the circles.”

“ah thank you. gotta stroll now, i got a ton of work to do...”

“I know where this is going.”

“a skele-ton.”

Bon gave a small chuckle and a warm smile to Sans who returned it with a grin.

Sans continued to Papyrus. The taller skeleton was sitting over a floor tile that just wouldn't change back to an x.

“have you tried turning the switch?”

“VERY FUNNY, SANS. THAT IS WHAT I'M DOING THE WHOLE TIME!!!! IT JUST WON'T TURN BACK, WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES BY? THEY WILL THINK THAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN'T EVEN CALIBRATE HIS OWN PUZZLE!!!”

“you'll figure it out, bro. i'm countin' on ya.”

“THANK YOU, BROTHER.”

“no biggy, bro.”

With that he left his brother to his puzzle, but not before he used his magic to let a screw that had rolled away roll back to Papyrus. After taking a few more steps he could hear his brother call out in joy.

“I FIXED IT!”

Chuckling he went to his sentry station, meeting Doggo on the way. He didn't feel up to another conversation though.

If he remembered correctly it would be another hour until the child would come by.

_i'm gonna give her a piece of my mind._

But he wouldn't. By the time he sneaked up behind her he hadn't made up his mind on what to tell her. His steps cracked in the snow and she had come to a stop in front of the gate. Slowly he approached her. Swallowing his anger for now he reached out a hand to her.

_maybe she didn't mean to do this. maybe she was like the others and didn't remember. let's see how she reacts._

“human.”

She turned around with a blank expression on her face, which wasn't unusual for the kid. What was new was the toy knife in her hand and the fact that she had turned around instantly.

_she remembers?_

She took his extended hand. No laugh from her this time when the sound of the whoopee cushion filled the otherwise silent forest.

“heheh... the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's ALWAYS funny.”

No reaction from the child. _her eyes used to be brown, didn't they?_ Now they were crimson red. _when did they change color?_

“that's, uh. your cue to laugh. or, uh, to emote at all...?”

_was this even the same child? gee, lady, you really know how to pick 'em, huh....?_

“OK, that's fine. everybody's got their own sense of humor. i'm sans. sans the skeleton. i'm actually supposed to be on the watch for humans right now.”

He felt a little silly saying the same stuff again, but oh well. If the kid didn't remember it would be unfair to not introduce himself.

“but... y'know... i don't really care about capturing anybody. now my brother, papyrus... he's a human-hunting FANATIC.”

He saw Papyrus coming their way. How he hated this repetitiveness.

“hey, actually, I think that's him over there. I have an idea. go through this gate thingy. yeah, go right through. my bro made the bars too wide to stop anyone.”

She obliged and he followed her to the place with his sentry station and the conveniently-shaped lamp. Last time she hid there and it has worked, so he'd suggest it again.

“quick, behind that conveniently-shaped lamp.”

Frisk stayed put. _because she remembered that papyrus wasn't really dangerous?_

“uh, ok, I guess you don't have to.”

At least this was something new. Change can't be that bad. Frisk was acting really weird though. _so... cold._

Papyrus stepped into she scene.

“SANS!!! HAVE YOU FOUND A HUMAN YET!??!”

“yeah.”

“REALLY!?!? WOWIE!!! GUESS THAT'S SETTLED!!”

And with that Papyrus left again.

“that worked out, huh?”

Frisk turned to him and stared at him blankly.

“... are you just gonna stare at me, or...?”

The kid shook her head and continued walking onward, away from Sans. He decided to try and talk to her a little bit more.

“well, i'll be straight-forward with you. my brother'd really like to see a human... so, y'know, it'd really help me out... if you kept pretending to be one.”

With that he left to the door of the ruins.

Something was off when he knocked against the old door.

_no answer._

Maybe the old lady, _toriel_ , just wasn't near the door when he knocked. Sans took a shortcut to Papyrus who jerked up when his brother arrived.

“I HATE IT WHEN YOU DO THAT SANS!”

“i know, bro.”

“SO SANS! WHEN'S THE HUMAN SHOWING UP??? I WANT TO LOOK MY SUNDAY BEST... OR AT LEAST MY TUESDAY PRETTY GOOD.”

“don't you only have one outfit?”

“YEAH, BUT I COULD STYLE MY HAIR!”

“oh, right. good idea.”

Frisk was approaching. Something in the air started to smell funny.

“say, why don't you look over there?”

Papyrus gasped audibly at the sight of what was in front of him. Turning to Sans and back he was getting excited. He was looking at the rock on the road. Sans joined his wild turning, trying to get a laugh out of the kid.

_last time she laughed._

A blank face deprived of all emotion stared back at him. How could this be the same kid?

Papyrus turned away from Frisk and looked over to Sans who mirrored him.

“SANS!!! OH MY GOD!!!! I'M DIZZY. WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?”

“behold.”

At the same time they turned back to Frisk.

“OH MY GOD!!! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO LOOK AT A ROCK.”

Sans couldn't help but chuckle.

“hey, what's that in front of the rock?”

Papyrus gasped again.

“OH MY GOD!!! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THAT IS.”

“well. it's not a rock.”

“NOT A ROCK...? OH NO!!! BY PROCESS OF ELIMINATION!!! THAT MEANS IT'S A HUMAN!!! AHEM!! HUMAN!! PREPARE YOURSELF!! FOR HIGH JINKS! FOR LOW JINKS! DANGERS! PUZZLES! CAPERS! JAPERS! BEING CAPTURED!! AND OTHER SORTS OF FUN ACTIVITIES. REFRESHMENTS WILL BE PROVIDED... IF YOU DARE! NYHE HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!!!”

Still laughing loudly, Papyrus left to prepare his puzzles.

This blank expression was really starting to bother Sans. _what was wrong with the kid?_

“... and you don't even bat an eye, huh?”

With that Sans followed his brother to the invisible maze. Papyrus seemed in thought.

“you ok, bro?”

“WHAT? YEAH! I'VE JUST HAD THIS FEELING! LIKE I ALREADY KNOW THIS HUMAN!”

“is that so?”

These small hints of memory always woke a false hope in Sans. But he knew it was more like a feeling of knowing when they all didn't remember at all.

“REALLY THOUGH!!! THAT HUMAN!!! DO I KNOW THAT PERSON???”

*do you not know... who you know?”

“PBPBPPBPT!! OF COURSE I KNOW WHO I KNOW!! I WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW... I KNOW WHO I KNOW AS MUCH AS I KNOW I KNOW WHO I KNOW!”

Papyrus turned around to see Frisk approaching. _with that goddamn blank expression._

“OH-HO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES! IN ORDER TO STOP YOU... MY BROTHER AND I HAVE CREATED SOME PUZZLES!”

_papyrus is so exited, why can't frisk just play along at least?_

“I THINK YOU WILL FIND THIS ONE...”

Frisk just crossed the puzzle-ground without batting an eye, stopping in the middle of it.

“QUITE SHOCKING!! FOR YOU SEE, THIS IS... THE, INVISIBLE...”

Sans couldn't remember the last time that Papyrus had looked so confused.

“UHHHHHHH...? HMMM... YOU MUST BE HAVING A CULTURE SHOCK. YOU SEE, WHERE I COME FROM, IT'S A LOVING TRADITION. TO SUFFER THROUGH HORRIBLE PUZZLES FOR NO REASON.”

_don't make me remember, paps._

“SO, UH, JUST WALK BACK THERE AND...”

The kid had started walking again, until she stopped barely a few inches away from Papyrus. The confused look Papyrus was giving her almost broke Sans' soul in two. For a few moments Papyrus just stared down at Frisk, until he ended up looking away and sighing.

“UGH. WHY COULDN'T WE GET A HUMAN THAT LIKES PUZZLES???”

Yet again Sans felt his soul ache, seeing his brother storm off in disappointment. Frisk didn't even react when Papyrus left.

She just stared in Sans direction. Completely expressionless. He was getting very sick of her behavior.

_there's still this smell on her. i can't put my bone on it though..._

“it would make my brother happy if you played along.”

There was a hint of anger in his voice that didn't seem to faze the girl at all. She just left.

_something felt incredibly wrong._

Later on, he saw her playing with a ball of snow.  
Ironic, how she lacked any emotions while Papyrus was desperately trying to get her to try his puzzles and was now playing that dumb little golf he and Bon had made years ago to play with Papyrus.

He remembered that Papyrus had been so excited the first time he got to play it. 'IT'S JUST LIKE A PUZZLE!', he had said while rolling the ball of snow around. Sometimes Sans really envied his brother and everyone else for their ability to forget. They would never know about the things Flowey did to them. They would never remember the countless times a human would emerge from the ruins, they all just remembered the last time for each human. _i don't want to remember this._

Sans took a shortcut to his brother.

“why the long face?”

“UGH SANS, NOT NOW, I'M TRYING TO THINK UP A PUZZLE FOR THE HUMAN!!! ONE THAT THEY WILL NOT JUST WALK THOUGH!!”

Papyrus turned around and Sans followed his gaze. Frisk.

“HUMAN!!! I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR... SANS!! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!!!”

At this very moment he really regretted not thinking up something better.

“it's right there. on the ground. trust me. there's no way she'll skip this one.”

They all used to refer to all humans as 'they' because Monsters weren't sure humans worked the same way, it had been too much time since they saw the last human. Only on the surface they had learned that humans had genders like monsters did. Papyrus didn't seem to acknowledge the fact that Sans had used female pronouns for the human though.

Of course she just walked through, even getting out of her way to step on the piece of paper Sans had put down in the snow. It was almost like she meant to stomp on it. _why?_

“SANS!!! THAT DID NOTHING!!!”

_i know. sorry, bro, i'm the worst brother._

“whoops. knew i should have put down junior jumble instead”, he said winking to Frisk.

_just give me one fucking reaction! are you nothing but an empty husk now? what happened to you, frisk?_

No reaction. Well, at least from her. Papyrus on the other hand started to happily agree.

“WHAT?!? JUNIOR JUMBLE!? FINALLY, SOMETHING WE CAN BOTH AGREE ON.”

Suddenly, Papyrus just ran off and left him alone with the human, again.

“guess you don't like word searches, huh?”, he shrugged, “me neither. i'm more of a funny pages kind of guy.”

He gave her another wink that didn't leave an impact and looked to the side.

_this all feels so so wrong. i want the old frisk back. the one that laughed at my jokes. the one that didn't stink._

After she left, Sans teleported to the machine the controlled the randomized floor-tile-puzzle.

He was waiting for Papyrus to come here, waving to him in his typical lazy manner.  
However, he didn't get a chance to speak to him, because just as he arrived, his attention got stolen by the human once again.

“HEY! IT'S THE HUMAN! YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE!”

She didn't even let him finish talking before crossing the still not activated floor-tiles.

“IT WAS MADE BY THE GREAT...”

Sans could see his brothers bony facial features drop.

“... ARE YOU SERIOUS? SANS!!! HELP!!!”

How Sans would have loved to blast this human to shreds right now.

If this thing even was human. She had been so kind, so merciful, even had forgiven the damn weed that kept messing with Papyrus' head. Sans wasn't much of a forgiving monster.

He would have loved to kill her the first time he saw her. A human. The last one that would have been needed to destroy the barrier.

Back then, he thought humans were the worst.

 

Of course, after spending some time on the surface he knew better now.  
It was understandable that they had gotten mad after hearing what Asgore did to break the barrier.  
He wondered what would have happened if they had just used Frisk's soul to break the barrier and declare war to the humans.

But he had promised it to the old lady.

Toriel. The woman he loves.

Living with her on the surface had been so ideal.

He never imagined that one day there was going to be this wall between them again.

Even now, he just couldn't break the promise he'd made to her.

'If a human ever comes through this door... Could you please, please promise something? Watch over them, and protect them, will you not?'

How could he refuse that. If she had asked this only a few days prior the little boy with the cowboy-hat would still be alive today. Maybe he was the reason Toriel had asked for this.

“THEY KEEP WALIKING THROUGH MY PUZZLES! THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO LET ME EXPLAIN THEM. THEN THREATEN AND BAFFLE THEM WITH DANGEROUS JAPES.”

Papyrus' usual excitement seemed to have been drained from his voice.

“well, maybe they don't like japes.”

 _maybe they are a heartless being that doesn't know what emotions are._ Bitter thoughts came up in Sans' mind again. _why did she have to reset?_

“EVERYONE LIKES JAPES!!!”

“what about undyne? doesn't she hate puzzles?”

“SHE HATES PUZZLES. BUT SHE LOVES JAPES.”

“that makes sense.”

Papyrus straightened his spine and looked at Frisk, who had come to a hold in the middle of the puzzle, again.

“HUMAN!!! WHAT DO YOU THINK!? PUZZLES OR JAPES?”

There was no answer. _did she forget how to fucking speak?_

Papyrus looked just annoyed at this point.

“OKAY, THIS IS NORMALLY THE PART. WHERE YOU EITHER AGREE OR DISAGREE. AND DEPENDING ON THE ASNWER. WE SAY SOMETHING GREAT IN RESPONSE.”

Papyrus looked to Sans and back at the human, clenching his fists. Was he getting mad?

“THERE, WHY DON'T YOU DO THIS PUZZLE YOURSELF.”

He practically threw down the note for this puzzle and left. Anger started to fume in Sans' eye sockets. _stop pretending you don't know us. stop giving us the silent treatment. what did we ever do to you?_

“hey... puzzles might be fun. if you tried them.”

She didn't acknowledge him at all.

Once Frisk reached the bridge the whole air was filled with the strange smell. It had something familiar and made Sans feel uneasy, especially around her.

“HUMAN! THIS IS YOUR FINAL AND MOST DANGEROUS CHALLENGE! BEHOLD! THE GAUNTLET OF DEADLY TERROR!”

_show fear. last time you did. go on papy, fire this all at her. she deserves this._

“WHEN I SAY THE WORD, IT WILL FULLY ACTIVATE!!! CANNONS WILL FIRE! SPIKES WILL SWING! BLADES WILL SLICE! EACH PART WILL SWING VIOLENTLY UP AND DOWN! ONLY THE TINIEST CHANCE OF VICTORY WILL REMAIN!!! ARE YOU READY!?”

_do it._

“BECAUSE! I! AM! ABOUT! TO DO IT!”

 

_**DO IT, PAPS.** _

 

“well? what's the holdup?”

“HOLDUP!? WHAT HOLDUP!? I'M... I'M ABOUT TO ACTIVATE IT NOW!”

 

“that, uh, doesn't look very activated.”

“WELL!!!”

His face fell again.

“... THEY'RE PROBABLY GOING TO WALK THROUGH IT. AND IT WON'T BE FUN AT ALL.”

“hmmm... so this human thing was a bust, huh?”

_i should just kill her right now. impale her with some bone attacks. she wouldn't expect it now._

“WELL. I MEAN. I'M EXCITED TO CAPTURE THEM. SO I'LL BECOME A FAMOUS ROYAL GUARDSMAN!!! BUT ALL THE TIME I PUT INTO THESE PUZZLES... IT'S KIND OF LIKE THROWING A BIRTHDAY PARTY...”

“without traps and fire?”

“EXACTLY!! IT'S POINTLESS!!! MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT TO BE LAZY ON PUZZLES.”

“me? right about something? Really?”

“... YEAH!! WHAT AM I SAYING! YOU'RE STILL COMPLETELY WRONG! I JUST HAVE THE WRONG AUDIENCE!”

_if you only knew, paps..._

“THINK ABOUT HOW MUCH FUN UNDYNE WOULD HAVE HERE! FLAMES, VIOLENCE. IT'S RIGHT UP HER ALLEY! SO I WON'T WASTE THIS PUZZLE ON YOU. I JUST HAVE TO APPRECIATE... THE FRIEND I ALREADY HAVE!!!”

Papyrus made the puzzle disappear.

“PHEW! A VALUABLE LIFE LESSON!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

Alone with the human again, not that she was even going to talk to him. She just went on with that disgusting smell around her. As she passed him Sans felt like he had been slapped into the face. How could he have been so ignorant? The smell came from the **dust** that was smeared all over her clothing and in her hair.

_this can't be true._

For a while Sans was just standing there in the snow that had never really made him feel cold until now. It just occurred to him how quiet it had been around for the time of day. Before he knew it he was running through the places Frisk had already been through. Empty. No one was there. No one but – he felt his soul clench – **dust.** All the places were full of dust of monsters that had been alive this morning. He took a shortcut to Snowdin.

_i should have killed the kid. the fucking brat. why, frisk, why?!_

Snowdin was empty as well. His bones started to rattle as he opened the door to the shop. No dust in here, just a note and a few cinnamon buns. 'Please don't hurt my family.' the note read. _so they evacuated. how did I not realize this? did papyrus get them out of here in time?_ _ **papyrus.**_

He swallowed hard, ran out of the shop, past the Christmas tree and through the empty town.

_she meets him outside of snowdin. maybe i'm not too late!_

Passing Grillby's he took a second to look inside.

His best friend wasn't there. So everyone had fled before the human crossed Snowdin.

 

_please papyrus, tell me you left, too!_

 

“ST... STILL! I BELIVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER! EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK SO! I...”

Sans couldn't believe what he was seeing. The little girl that always loved to spend time with Papyrus, the little girl that had taught Papyrus to cook proper spaghetti, the little girl that always gave the two of them warm hugs when she came over... put her foot on Papyrus severed skull that was resting on his scarf.

“I PROMISE...”

She put pressure into her action and stomped down on his head, turning it to dust. There was a short moment where she didn't move, just looked down on the clothing the tall skeleton had left behind. Frisk bowed down and touched the scarf for a second but jerked back up, moving on without looking back again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See? It's longer! I'll be trying to keep up this length for the chapters...


	4. Judgment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chara arrives in Judgment Hall and chooses to change her path completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So at this point Niemandweiter isn't just a proof reader anymore... Say hello to my new Co-Writer :D  
> You can find him here:  
> http://niemandweiter.tumblr.com/

Lvl 19 and close to the finish line.

Chara had almost missed the annoying skeleton that kept showing up last timeline to take her out to Grillbyz and Mettaton's restaurant. She was starting to wonder if the bony fellow was upset about his brothers death.

_No, his brothers slaughter._

_He didn't seem like much of a fighter. Probably curled up in his little hole, waiting for the world to end ._

Chara had no intentions of resetting again though, it was going to end for good. She was going to have enough power to erase this wretched world. That's what the voice had told her anyways.

A lot of voices were swirling about in the void, but it was hard to understand any of them.

In spite of this, that one raspy voice had been loud and clear to her. His presence had been so strong, it had almost felt like he touched her shoulders, even though she didn't have a body in the Void.

Her body. She wondered what had happened to it. Maybe it just decomposed somewhere, maybe it had been buried. The last time she saw it was when Asriel fainted, still holding her, just past the border back in the castle.

What she did know was where her locket and the knife were. Heading there she brushed her hand over the walls of her old home. _Frisks fingers, Frisks body._

At first Frisk had allowed her to use her body, to quote on quote 'Feel alive again'. But as soon as it dawned on her that Chara was killing everyone Frisk started to fight back.

It had already been hard to control Frisk's body, while she gave permission. Now it felt like a prison that was simultaneously trapping her inside while desperately trying to push her out, getting rid of the invading spirit.

However, Chara was determined to remain in control, even though it hurt, and even though she wasn't able to control the girls face and words. In the end that probably made her look terrifying to the monsters around her. No words and a blank face.

Luckily, it got easier once Undyne was beaten. Like Frisk had given up. _Good._

 _Dad._ Asgore was the last one to beat. Flowey was going to be easy. He was already scared of her and without the souls, he wasn't strong enough to beat her. _Soon everything was going to end._

Chara entered her old room. There they were, neatly packaged. The knife and her... locket. It was the only thing that still reminded her of her life above ground. She did not want to remember right now. _Not now._

Her gaze went over to her old bed. _What a comfortable bed. If I laid down here, I might not ever get up, again._ Memories of this old home came rushing in. Asriel. Toriel. Asgore. Undyne. The scientist and the doctor.

_No. Don't think about it._

_**Forget... Forget. FORGET. FORGET. FORGET IT!** _

_Everything will be over. Everything will be erased. Everyone needs to disappear. The humans and the monsters. Everyone._

  


  


Chara's steps echoed when she entered the Judgment Hall. The big empty hall was filled with a warm orange light. _So close to the end._

The save point flickered lightly when she saved. _The last save._ She made her way across the long room but came to a stand when Sans appeared in front of her. _So he did not back out after all._

“heya.”

She took a sharp breath when her eyes looked into his eye sockets. His expression. So pained. So hurt. So betrayed.

“so, i've got a question for ya.”

_Do you now?_

“do you think even the worst person can change...? that everybody can be a good person if they just try? “

Where had she heard this before? _Papyrus._

'THE WAY YOUR HANDS ARE ALWAYS COVERED IN DUSTY POWDER. IT FEELS… LIKE YOUR LIFE IS GOING DOWN A DANGEROUS PATH. HOWEVER! I, PAPYRUS, SEE GREAT POTENTIAL WITHIN YOU! EVERYONE CAN BE A GREAT PERSON IF THEY TRY!'

_No. They have no idea. They clearly don't know humans._

'I SEE YOU ARE APPROACHING. ARE YOU OFFERING A HUG OF ACCEPTANCE? WOWIE!! MY LESSONS ARE ALREADY WORKING!! I, PAPYRUS, WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS!'

And just like that... She had killed him.

_He tried to help me... Tried to be my friend._

'ST... STILL! I BELIVE IN YOU! YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER! EVEN IF YOU DON'T THINK SO! I...'

_He still believed in me after what I did._

“heh heh heh heh...”

It sounded so bitter, so hurt, it made Chara's torn soul ache. He reminded her so much of the little girl that had wandered up the mountain. Deprived of all hope.

“alright. well, here's a better question. do you wanna have a bad time? 'cause if you take another step forward... you are REALLY not going to like what happens next.”

_I have to keep going. I'm so close._

She took the step without hesitation.

_Just like her father and brother had stepped towards her, showing no mercy as they..._

“welp. sorry, old lady. this is why i never make promises.”

“it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming. on days like these, kids like you... “

He got ready to fight, hands still in his pockets, sockets closed, only opening during his speech, revealing empty holes.

  


“ **SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL.”**

  


A bright blue flame lit up in his right eye socket.

Chara got blasted away before she could react. The pain was so intense that even in the Void she could still feel it.

“Please stop, Chara... I don't like this anymore.”

Frisks small voice wasn't going to persuade Chara. Without a second thought she pressed the 'LOAD' button, spawning her back into the Judgment Hall. The same echo as before went through the giant hall while she was making her way to Sans' position again.

“heya. you look frustrated about something.”

His grin seemed a bit wider than before, mocking her.

“guess i'm pretty good at my job, huh?”

She clutched the knife tighter. This wasn't going to be easy after all.

“it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming. on days like these, kids like you... **SHOULD BE BURNING IN HELL.”**

This time she could doge his bone attacks. He's using the same pattern, _I have to memorize it._ The blasters on the other hand weren't so easy to dodge and she got hit for 15 HP.

“huh. always wondered why people never use their strongest attack first.”

Something was wrong. Normally when a monster attacked and struck you twice in a row, you would only take damage once, but this felt different. Her HP were now down 17 points more, leaving her with 50. Chara decided to check him, a trick she learned from Asriel years ago.

_'Sans. 1ATK, 1DEF. The easiest enemy. Can only deal 1 damage.'_

If this was true that meant... _He's playing against the rules._

Another row of attacks followed and only barely touched her for a few moments, but still her HP went down to 26. She spit out blood before swinging her knife at him.

He dodged. No one had ever dodged before.

“what? you think i'm just gonna stand here and take it?”

_You fucker. Stick to the damn rules._

Her confusion was big enough to allow his next attack to kill her.

LOAD.

“hmm. that expression. that's the expression of someone who's died twice in a row. suffice to say, you look really... unsatisfied. all right. how 'bout we make it a third?”

“it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing,-”

Before finishing his speech once again, he interrupted himself to start his attack prematurely.

LOAD.

“hmm. that expression. that's the expression of someone who's died thrice in a row... hey, what comes after 'thrice', anyway? wanna help me find out?”

He didn't bother with his long dialogue anymore, probably getting as sick of it as her.

“ready?”

She died yet again.

LOAD.

“hmm. that expression... that's the expression of someone who's died quice in a row. quice? frice? welp, won't have to use it again anyways.”

She started to get pretty good at dodging this first attack.

“here we go.”

While she stared into the darkness of the Void, She realized she should have used healing items.

LOAD.

“hmm. that expression... that's the expression of someone who's died five times in a row. convenient, huh? that's one for each finger. but soon...”

Not even healing items helped her this time. It was like his attacks still drained HP after they were over.

LOAD.

“hmm. that expression... that's the expression of someone who's died six times in a row. that's the number of fingers on a mutant hand. but soon...”

_Oh, you think you're so funny._

LOAD.

“hmm. that expression... that's the expression of someone who's died seven times in a row. hey, that's good. seven's supposed to be a lucky number. who knows, maybe you'll hit the jackpot...”

_The draining power of his attacks. It must be the guilt... Gnawing at my determination._

LOAD.

“hmm. that expression... that's the expression of someone who's died eight times in a row. that's the number of fingers on a spider. but soon...”

_Stay determined._

LOAD.

“hmm. that expression... that's the expression of someone who's died seven times in a row. nope, wait, that's definitely nine, sorry. or was it ten?”

_I felt my sins weighing on my neck._

LOAD...

“hmm. that expression... that's the expression of someone who's died ten times in a row. hey, congrats! the big one-oh! let's invite all your friends over for a big shindig. we can have pie, and hot dogs, and...”

She swallowed hard. It was at this moment that she realized she was starting to get more control of Frisks body, able to move her face, but not able to speak.

“hmmm... wait. something's not right.”

She looked up at him confused as her hand started to clutch Frisks pullover.

“ **you don't have any friends.”**

She took a step back. He was right. She didn't have anyone anymore. Frisk had stopped talking to her a while ago, Asriel was just afraid of her now. Undyne was dead... _Slain by my hands_ . Papyrus, who had tried to become her friend... _His skull crushed below my foot._ Toriel... _Mom... ripped in half..._

She just took his attack this time, not bothering to even attempt dodging his deadly bones.

The confusion on the skeletons face was almost funny. She could even see him step in her direction before her senses left the real world to be back in the Void.

“ _Please... Just reset, Chara... Please... You clearly can't beat him...”_

_I feel my sins crawling on my back._

  


**LOAD.**

  


“hmm. that expression... that's the expression of someone who's died eleven times in a row. well, give or take. there's nuance to this stuff. don't think i'll be able to count very well from here. count for me, ok? we'll start from 12.”

She only managed five attacks.

_KARMA coursing through my veins._

_**I have to go on. I'm going to kill him. NOW.** _

  


**LOAD!**

  


“let's just get to the point.”

She started counting her attacks.

 **One.** “what? you think i'm just gonna stand here and take it?”

_Can't keep dodging forever. Keep attacking._

_I feel my sins crawling on my back._

**Two.** “our reports showed a massive anomaly in the timespace continuum. timelines jumping left and right, stopping and starting...”

_**I** am just like all the other humans. _

**Three.** “until suddenly, everything ends.”

_No... I am worse._

**Four.** “heh heh heh... that's your fault isn't it?”

_You're right._

**Five.** “you can't understand how this feels.”

_I'm sorry._

**Six.** “knowing that one day, without any warning... it's all going to be reset.”

_I'm sorry..._

**Seven.** “look. i gave up trying to go back a long time ago.”

_I need to move on._

**Eight.** “and getting to the surface doesn't really appeal anymore, either.”

_I need to erase this world._

**Nine.** “cause even if we do... we'll just end up right back here, without any memory of it, right?”

_Don't worry. You will never end up here again._

**Ten.** “to be blunt... it makes it kind of hard to give it my all.”

_I'm sorry._

**Eleven.** “... or is that just a poor excuse for being lazy...? hell if i know.”

_I will put you to rest._

**Twelve.** “all i know is... seeing what comes next... i can't afford not to care anymore.”

_I can't let you hold me back... I need to... Erase this world. It has to go. This wretched world full of terrible people has to go. Terrible people. Like me..._

**Thirteen.**

“ugh... that being said...”

Heavy breaths left her mouth. It wasn't her body – _Frisk's body_ – that was exhausted. It was her mind that started to loose strength. Going back always made the body feel fresh and healthy again. It was still pressing down on her. _An uncomfortable suit._

“you, uh, really like swinging that thing around, huh?”

_I'm sorry._

“... listen.”

Chara looked at the skeleton's face that suddenly started to loosen up the tensed expression. He looked tired, not only because of the fight, but because of everything.

“i know you didn't answer me before, but... somewhere in there. i can feel it. there's a glimmer of a good person inside of you. the memory of someone who once wanted to do the right thing. someone who, in another time, might have even been... a friend?”

Yes. Frisk was his friend. This wasn't directed at Chara. He wanted Frisk to stop. Because who would care about her, Chara. No one even knew she was still here.

“c'mon, buddy. do you remember me? please, if you're listening... let's forget all of this, ok? just lay down your weapon, and... well, my job will be a lot easier.”

He would forgive Frisk for what she's done?

_Would you also forgive me? Do I also... Get a second chance...?_

The knife dropped on the ground with a sharp noise and she took a step towards him.

“... you're sparing me?”

She nodded as the rest of her body started to shake.

“finally. buddy. pal. i know how hard it must be... to make that choice. to go back on everything you've worked up to. i want you to know... i won't let it go to waste...”

Sans took his hands out of his pockets and stretched his arms out, offering a hug. Chara couldn't believe her eyes.

“c'mere, pal.”

The girl tripped over her steps while she almost ran towards him. Her arms wrapped around his rib cage. It felt weirdly warm, even though he didn't have any flesh. Maybe it was coming from his soul. Slowly he took her into his arms.

She couldn't identify the sudden pain. First her chest then the rest of her entire body. When she looked up into his face with utmost confusion he was smiling weakly, almost apologetic, before pushing her down harshly into the sharp bones he had summoned underneath her. She couldn't blame him.

“geeettttttt dunked on!!!”

He was trying really hard to sound victorious. Then something she expected the least happened. Sans bowed down to her, looking into her pained face, his hand gently resting on her head now.

“if we're really friends... you won't come back.”, he said only a moment before she found herself back in the Void.

There was the voice again, loud and angry.

“I thought we had a plan, young lady. Go back and finish what you started!”

She didn't respond, didn't see the point in it. _I'm not going back. I want to have this chance._

“You'll never be forgiven for what you've done, Chara. Erasing is the only way. You are nothing in this world that betrayed you.”, the voice harshly reminded her.

“I won't interfere anymore.”, Chara said before giving all control back to Frisk.

  


**RESET.**

  


When Frisk woke up in the Ruins again Chara could feel something that wasn't apparent to her before.

_My body is near. I can feel it. It's still around after all...? Am I nothing more than a pile of bones now?_

Flowey seemed more than displeased by the reset. _Funny, and that after you begged me not to kill you._

While Frisk made her way through the Ruins, Chara started to realize that even without trying to control anything, without wanting to move Frisk's body, she was still trapped inside of her. Pressed inside the wrong body, no way out.

_What am I going to do? I need to get out, I can't stay in here... Sans might know a way. He knows about time lines. But would he help someone like me? What if he doesn't? What am I going to do? If he doesn't This poor excuse of a scientist won't be any help. But Sans... he used to work with the scientist, didn't he? I guess I'll have to take my chances. There must be a way..._

“You want to leave so badly?”

Toriel's voice brought Chara back to reality. Frisk was already approaching Toriel. _How long have I been in thought?_

“Hmph. You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself... Prove to me you are strong enough to survive.”

The usual dialog. This was going to get annoying, hell it already was.

“... wait. ... why are you looking at me like that? Like you have seen a ghost. Do you know something that I do not? No... That is impossible.”

That was new.

“ _Frisk don't let her know... Please... I beg you.”_

She didn't. Just spared her until Toriel gave up.

“No, I understand. You would just be unhappy trapped down there. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this. My expectations... My loneliness... My fear... For you, my child... I will put them aside.”, Toriel finally said before hugging Frisk tightly.

The warm, soft hug felt alien. Yet, it was hard to let go. Her and Frisk had to move on. Frisk wanted to get to the surface again. Understandably, Frisk wanted to get to the surface again. She felt guilty to no end for giving Chara the power to hurt her friends. In Frisks eyes it was only her own fault.

_You're not at fault... I was the one who did this._

“But I let you.”, Frisk said after the door to the Ruins had shut behind her.

The girl made her way towards the gate until she was stopped by Sans again.

“human. don't you know how to greet a new pal?”

Frisk turned around and immediately hugged Sans tightly, not willing to let go.

“whoa there pardner. clam down and let go.”

Frisk looked up at him and her eyes started to fill with tears.

“I'm so sorry, Sans! I'll never let this happen again! Please... I'll be good!”

“kiddo. calm down i said. go hide behind that lamp there. papyrus will come by soon. once that is settled we'll talk. you got some 'splaining to do.”

She let go of him hesitantly, nodded and hid behind the lamp, awaiting Papyrus.

He did his usual talk with Papyrus until the taller skeleton left again.

Sans put his hands in his pockets and the lights in his eyes shifted over to the lamp where Frisk hid.

“you can come out now, kid.”

And so she did, but this time she kept her distance. It was clear to her that the older of the skeleton brothers remembered.

“so, kid, pal, buddy... that's sure something you did there. now...”

The lights representing his pupils disappeared from his sockets.

“mind telling me what that shit was about?”

Frisk pulled her eyes away form his face, trying to avoid the guilt inducing look he was giving her.

“It... It wasn't me. I mean... It was me but not... ME.”

“you've lost me.”

Frisk sighed.

“There is... This voice in my head... And she tells me... to do things. At first she helped me a lot. Without her help I wouldn't have been able to get you to the surface... But then... When things started to go downhill... I wanted to fix everything... And they told me I could... I just had to reset... After I got to the surface I couldn't save or load anymore. So it would be the only way to fix things... So... I did it.”

She looked up at Sans. He didn't move or change his expression.

“doesn't quite explain the killing, kiddo. or is that how you 'fix things' now? because if that's the case...”

It seemed like a faint blue light was starting to appear in his right eye socket. Frisk knew she had to choose her next words very carefully.

“No, th-that's not all... She asked me... if I could... Let her use my body.. Just for a bit... To feel alive again... She said she had died years ago...”

He didn't seem impressed, more upset even.

“and she did all this? y'know it's kinda hard to believe this.”

“It's the truth though...”

She sighed again.

“and why didn't you stop her?”

“I tried... but I couldn't move my own body...”

His pupils returned.

“look, kiddo. i can't let you roam around carefree after what happened. Even if I believe you, no one can ensure that the other one won't come back.”

He walked over to Frisk and lightly took her by the wrist.

“you're going to stay with me and paps for a while. just to make sure. if you got nothin' to hide, there's not problem, right?”

“Right.”

There was a small pause.

“Sans, what if she comes back?”

“then i'll deal with her. don't worry 'bout it, kid. now let's go meet papyrus.”

Frisk nodded and followed Sans.

He let her do all of the puzzles and kept up the play for his brother, never letting her out of sight for even a moment. Especially when Frisk fought against his brother. She just flirted with him and then spared him until the battle was over though. He even let her go on the date with Papyrus. After the date was over Sans stepped out of his room and stopped his younger brother.

“hey, bro. what do you think about the human staying here for a few days?”

“SANS!!! THAT IS A GREAT IDEA!! WE CAN PREPARE THEM FOR THEIR JOURNEY!!!”

“heh. yeah. just don't tell anyone yet. wouldn't want undyne to find the human here.”

“NYEH HEH HEH!!! NOT YET!!! BUT!! ONCE WE INTRODUCE UNDYNE TO THE HUMAN!!! UNDYNE WILL SEE WHAT A GREAT JOB AT CAPTURING THE HUMAN I DID!!!”

Sans chuckled while his brother left the house and made his way down the stairs to the living room.

“sit.”, he gestured towards the couch.

Without protest Frisk took place on the old but comfortable couch. Her gaze followed him as he made his way to the kitchen. Upon returning Frisk scrunched up her nose. He was holding a plate of spaghetti and he knew very well how much she hated Papyrus' home-cooked food. It just wasn't one of his talents.

“what? i think we both agree that you owe me. big time.”, he winked.

“Is this my punishment now?”, Frisk groaned. She still took the plate when he reached it over to her.

Sans just chuckled and stuffed his fists into his pockets.

“but seriously. eat up. your hp are pretty low.”

“Guess so. Before... The voice always helped me with everything and suddenly I was on my own.”

Frisk didn't want to eat the pasta, but she knew Sans was right. She didn't bother saving before, leaving her still damaged by Toriel's flames. Reluctantly she ate the pasta. HP fully restored. No matter how terrible the spaghetti tasted, their effect made it worth it.

“about that voice. when did you start hearing it?”

“As soon as I woke up in the Underground.”

“i see. so it's something from here.”

Sans pulled a little notebook and a pencil out of his pocket and started writing things down. While doing that he walked over to Frisk and sat down next to her.

“so this voice told you that they've died here years ago. did they tell you anything about who they are?”

Frisk shook her head. Chara didn't find that to be necessary for Frisk to know and seeing how much the Underground had changed she doubted it had any importance at all.

“All I know is that it's a girls voice. She said her name was Chara but that's all I know about her.”

Sans continued to write something down.

“it's getting late, frisk. you should sleep for a bit.”

It wasn't a request or suggestion. Frisk nodded and laid down on the couch. Sans got up and got a blanket from Papyrus' room and covered her with it.

“sleep tight.”

 


	5. Mind

Sans looked at Frisk. After what felt like forever she had finally fallen asleep. So peaceful. It felt almost like she was mocking him. But maybe it was going to be alright. She wasn't that blank leftover anymore. _she'll bring us back to the surface._

Something about the voice she had been talking about really bothered him. Frisk had called her...

_chara? sounds familiar... someone who's died here years ago? a female._

Sans started counting on his fingers how many human females had died here.

_the girl with the turquoise soul, the one with the blue soul and the one with the purple soul. feels like i'm forgetting something. these damn time loops are messing with my memory._

Then he remembered that time. He added another finger and sighed. It could only be that one.

_the first one. she had the same soul color, the same trait._

Chara. The first human to fall into the Underground. Even though he used to see her rather often, they had barely interacted with each other. He could still remember that last time he saw her about 10 years ago. She had been in miserable pain, fallen ill for some unknown reason and once they found out what it was, she had already deceased.

It had been the first time he'd seen a human die, certainly not the last, but the first time and back then he had felt really bad for her. That was until he had found out why she died.

_you don't accidentally eat buttercups again and again until you die._

And with her, Asriel had disappeared. It was a taboo to talk about the prince, but Sans knew roughly what had happened.

Asriel took Chara's soul and passed the barrier. It was assumed that the humans then attacked him since he returned badly wounded and had died mere moments after he had entered the Underground again.

Ever since that day Asgore had ordered war against all of humanity and gave the order that every human that would fall into the Underground was to be executed immediately and it's soul brought to him.

Papyrus never knew that Sans had played a big part in collecting those souls. Only one of them got as far as reaching Undyne. Sans had made sure of that.

The girl with the purple soul had been so quiet that she passed him while he was taking a nap. So quiet in fact that Papyrus downright overlooked her.

Undyne on the other hand saw her immediately, sealing the girls fate.

_if this voice really is chara's and if she really was able to move frisks body, who knows what damage she could do. but why did she spare me then? and here i thought i knew a lot about the LOADs, SAVEs and RESETs._

Sans took out his notebook again and added a few things about Chara. Realizing that he was getting really tired himself, he sat down cross legged on the ground next to the couch and leaned his head against it. If she was going to get up, he would notice.

After a few minutes he dozed off.

  
  


With a loud bang the door opened. Sans was immediately awake and jumped up into a standing position. He looked around confused until his sight stopped on Papyrus.

“I AM HOME, BROTHER!”

“psst paps. the human is sleeping.”, Sans mumbled quietly and put up a finger in front of his grin to quiet down Papyrus.

Sans looked down at the kid and sighed in relief. Still asleep, but she had been moving so much that the blanket was lying next to Sans' feet instead of covering her. She was still moving a lot.

_a nightmare_ , he thought while picking up the blanket to cover her again. _maybe I should wake her up._

He shook the thought off. Papyrus was more important right now. With one finger he gestured Papyrus to be quiet once again, then pointed at the sleeping girl. With a nod Papyrus quietly closed the door.

“THEY APPEAR TO BE HEAVING A NIGHTMARE, SANS! WE SHOULD WAKE THEM!”, he said as quiet as Papyrus-possible.

_he's right. i just have to talk to him later then._

Sans looked down at the shifting human and laid one of his skeletal hands on her shoulder to wake her. The grip turned out a little too harsh and instead of gently waking her up she shrieked and almost jumped off of the couch. But Sans hand made that impossible. He put a second hand on her other shoulder to steady her.

“shh. it's alright, just a bad dream.”

Sans was just wondering if she had been dreaming of the last timeline when he saw her eyes. _**red eyes.**_

His grip tightened even more around her shoulders, digging into her skin through the pullover. _if i let her go right now i can probably kiss my and papy's life goodbye._ He could see that he was hurting her, but he couldn't afford to let go.

The look that she was giving him couldn't be described with anything but fear.

“frisk?”

She nodded very hesitantly. _it's not frisk._ His pupils shifted to Papyrus, who was giving him a very confused look. That was when he realized he was still holding her very firmly in place. Reluctantly Sans let go of her shoulders, giving her a warning look.

“sorry. you scared me. are you alright?”

“YOU SEEMED TO BE HAVING A NIGHTMARE, HUMAN!”

_blank._ Her face wasn't showing any emotions again. _Where did that fear go?_

It appeared that she wanted to say something. She even moved her lips but there was no sound. _maybe she's just speaking very quietly. frisk has always been the quiet type._

“you're going to have to speak a little louder, kiddo.”

She attempted to speak again, but to no avail.

“HUMAN!!! HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN HOW TO SPEAK!?!?”

Frisk shook her head again. Her blank face showed signs of an internal struggle now.

“... Hurts... Can't.... Words...”

The words sounded very muffled. She started gesturing to her throat and mouth.

“are you in pain, kid?”

She nodded and looked over to Papyrus, then back to Sans. There was fear again. _fear. well, that's at least some form of emotion. guess she still has those, huh?_

It was kind of ridiculous how vulnerable this kid looked now.

_like a mistreated animal fearing to get hit again._

_how could this little human be the one who kill everyone? the one that hated humans and monsters enough she would sacrifice everything for it?_

_what in the world happened to this girl? what damaged her to the point of becoming a ruthless killer?_

Sans shook his head. He shouldn't feel bad for her. She killed Papyrus just like that. Even crushed his scull below her...

Well, if she was in pain there was something that could be done about that. He stretched a hand out to check her. Shouldn't have surprised him when she winced away, she knew all too well what he was capable of.

_'frisk. 10ATK, 20DEF. the human, the anomaly. not actually frisk. trapped.'_

“paps, can you do the human a favor and use your green magic on them?”

Papyrus had just been looking concerned at the two of them so far. He could feel that something was off. Sans was acting even weirder than normally when he tried to hide something from Papyrus.

“OF COURSE, BROTHER!!!”

Happy to help Papyrus walked around the couch towards her and gently rested his gloved hand on her stomach. Green light started to glimmer around it.

However, instead of the usual healing effect this had it seemed to hurt.

Suddenly her face scrunched up until she let out an ear piercing scream. Papyrus pulled away his hand instantly, while giving Sans a helpless look.

“I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! WHAT DID I DO WRONG??!! I'M SO SORRY HUMAN!!!! I DID NOT MEAN TO HURT YOU!!”

“Not... Your... Fault...”, she pressed through Frisks teeth.

Frisk – _no, chara_ \- was holding her stomach.

_maybe giving strength to frisk makes chara weaker. i should keep that in mind._

“i think what the human needs is more rest. in a proper place.”

“THEN THE HUMAN SHALL SLEEP IN MY BED!!”

“where would you sleep?”

“YOU HAVE A POINT, BROTHER!! THEN THEY WILL SLEEP IN YOUR BED!!!”

Sans wanted to protest first, but it was the only other suitable sleeping place in their home. He couldn't take the risk of letting her sleep in the inn and before Papyrus could get the idea that the human and him could sleep in the same bed Sans nodded.

“yeah. sounds like a good idea. come, _frisk._ ”

He stretched out the hand towards her. Another warning look. The slight nod of her told him she understood very well. He led her upstairs to his room and opened the door with a key and flipped on the light.

_right. i never tidied up in here._

The whole floor was covered in socks, the trash tornado was swirling around books, notes, random sheets of paper, more socks and a plate of spaghetti. The treadmill was running and the sheets were creasy and disgusting. Sans chuckled nervously.

“wait here for a sec.”

With one more look that suggested she better not try anything, he disappeared behind his door, closing it shut.

Getting rid of the tornado was done with the snap of a finger. The rest wouldn't be so easy. Sans sighed heavily and untangled the sheets and put all of the socks into before rolling it into a ball again. After turning off the treadmill he put away the scattered sheets of paper and the books that the tornado had left behind. Grabbing the ball of sheets he teleported to the tiny lab he had in the back. Next to the covered machine – _failure_ – was the washing machine. He mindlessly stuffed it all into the washer and turned it on. He took another shortcut back into his room and pulled out new sheets from the drawer to make the bed.

_why am I even doing this for her? today is not my day._

He opened the door again, pleased to see that she was still standing there. However, not so pleased seeing that her eyes were still red.

Her arms were still holding her stomach where Papyrus had tried to help and her whole body was shaking.

Moreover Papyrus was downstairs sitting on the couch, staring blankly to the ground.

_he probably feels awfully guilty for hurting the human._

When Papyrus felt Sans pupils on him he looked up and forced a smile.

“i'll bring the human to bed and then i'll come over to read your bedtime story, 'kay?”

“WON'T THE HUMAN NEED ONE, TOO?!?!”

Without waiting for an answer Papyrus immediately got up and ran up the stairs, getting a book from his room and pressing it against Sans chest.

“THEY ARE GOING TO LIKE THIS ONE!!! PEEK-A-BOO WITH FLUFFY BUNNY IS GREAT!! THEY WILL LOVE THE ENDING!!! NYEH HEH!!!”

Papyrus beamed so brightly that Sans couldn't refuse. Right now, Papyrus needed the feeling that he could help someone.

To his surprise the girl was smiling as well, a pained smile, but a genuine one.

“Thank you, Papyrus. You are the best.”

Sans could see that she was really struggling to even speak.

“I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AFTER ALL!!! NYEH HEH HEEEH!!!”

With these words Papyrus swiftly left for his room. He was probably getting ready for bed, considering it was way past his usual bedtime.

“well then go ahead and lay down, kiddo.”

The kid obliged and entered his room. After she laid down on his bed he followed her and closed the door behind him. He walked over to the bed at a snails pace, sat down next to her and opened the book with a heavy sigh.

“ready for your bad-time story? peek-a-boo with fluffy bunny.”

“You don't have to do this. I know you don't want to.”, she interrupted him.

It looked like she was able to control Frisks speech properly now. _i wonder what caused it._

“look, kiddo. this means a lot to pap and we are doing this now. he'll ask you about it in the morning anyways. so you better pay attention.”

Sans didn't mean to sounds so unkind while saying that, but he still wasn't so keen on her. He waited for her to respond, which she did with a nod, and started to read while holding the book in a way that she could see the colorful pictures in it.

“once upon a time, there was a little fluffy bunny living with his little fluffy bunny family.”

_isn't that just hilarious. here I am, reading a story for little kids to a mass murdering psychotic ghost of a dead girl that is currently possessing frisks body._

“'fluffy, ' said mother bunny...”

_and not just any mass murdering psycho. Papyrus' death ... the final battle in the judgment hall ... almost everyone In the entire underground turned into dust … this is, without a doubt, the worst joke I have ever heard._

After he finished the story the skeleton closed the book and looked over to her.

“shit, kid. what's wrong?”, he asked after noticing the tears in the corners of her eyes.

“You offered mercy to Frisk... Even though you thought that it was her who killed everyone...”

She seemed to have issues talking again, _or is she just reluctant to say it?_

“Would you consider... Forgiving me as well...?”

This request caught him off guard. _does she mean to say that it hadn't been frisk that spared me? she... had done it herself? but why would she do that?_

He just stared at her for a while.

“kid-”, he finally got out but she cut him off instantly.

“It's fine. I wouldn't either.”, she mumbled while laying down, facing the wall. She pulled the covers over her head and added “Good night.” before she closed her eyes.

“night.”

He stayed next to her until he was sure that she had drifted off to sleep. At first, Sans wanted to say more but ultimately decided against it.

Sighing, he got up and left the room.

After he closed the door he pulled out the key to the door and locked it. _better be safe than sorry._

He let the key sink back into his pants pocket and made his way over to Papyrus' room. To his relief, Papyrus had already fallen asleep. As soon as he slept, he usually forgot every worry he had. Tomorrow he would be happy to talk to Frisk again, as happy as if nothing ever happened.

That was at least what Sans hoped - that it was going to be Frisk and not Chara. Her request was still buzzing in his head. Forgive her? After all she'd done? He did forgive Frisk – kind of. _but chara?_

Wasn't pretty much all of this Chara's fault? If it only hadn't been for Chara's stupid idea to kill herself. If she wouldn't have brought so much pain to the royal family and worried Asgore so much, then he wouldn't have pushed the royal scientist to hurry with research on how to break the barrier or pressured the royal doctor to find a cure for Chara.

No one even considered that it could have been self inflicted. She withered away slowly and painfully, despite all efforts of everyone and destroyed what little was left of Sans' family until it was only Papyrus and him remaining.

In the 10 years that followed the resets went crazy. And so did Sans. When Frisk appeared he had begun to gain hope again. Hope that he could move on. From the resets, from the past, from all the pain.

_why the fuck did frisk reset? chara must've been the one that suggested it._

Sans ran his hand over his skull and sat down on the couch. The tiredness crept back into his bones, so he decided to lay down on the couch and sleep a bit.

  
  


In the morning Papyrus woke him again.

“GOOD MORNING, BROTHER!!! DID YOU SLEEP WELL!??!”

“mornin'. i slept fine.”, he answered while rubbing his eye sockets and sitting up.

“THE HUMAN STILL HASN'T LEFT YOUR ROOM. THEY MUST BE STILL ASLEEP!!! I'M SORRY, BROTHER, BUT I CAN'T WAIT FOR THE TWO OF YOU TODAY!! I HAVE TO IMMEDIATELY MEET WITH UNDYNE!!! FOR ANOTHER COOKING LESSON!”

Papyrus seemed overly excited. Undyne usually didn't have that much time for their cooking lessons. If she didn't hang around with Alphys, she spent most of her free time battle training Papyrus.

“I MADE BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI!! FOR THE TWO OF YOU!!!”, Papyrus added and pointed at the fridge.

Sans smiled over to his brother.

“alright, bro. don't burn down the house.”, he chuckled.

“REALLY NOW, SANS?!”, he protested just as he left the house.

A few moments later, after stretching and popping some of his joints, Sans finally got up.

After all he had locked the girl in his room.

_could just keep her in there. that way she at least won't be a danger to anyone._

He shook off the thought. **Frisk** didn't deserve that. **Frisk** was trying to by good. Sans genuinely hoped that the person behind his door was Frisk and not Chara.

While heading up the stairs he anxiously played with the key in his pocket. Reaching his door he was reluctant to pull it out. What if Chara was waiting for him behind the door? Ready to dash out and kill him as soon as he opened the door. He took a sharp breath and knocked.

“you awake, kiddo?”

No answer.

“ **kiddo?** ”

“Sans...?”

_frisk._ Something in her voice made him sure that it was Frisk. He unlocked the door and found Frisk sitting on the bed, rubbing her eyes. The covers were on the ground and the pillow looked like she had pressed it against herself the whole night. When she looked over to him he felt a wave of relief wash over him. Brown eyes, Frisk's eyes.

“mornin', _frisk._ ”

“Why are you saying my name like that?”

“just making sure that it's _you_.”

She understood.

With one finger Sans gestured her to come out of the room.

“come. i'll make us breakfast.”

He didn't wait for her response and turned around to head downstairs again. Once he was there he started to prepare breakfast for the two of them. Frisk didn't like Papyrus' spaghetti and he himself also favored different food. As long as Papyrus wouldn't know that he threw the pasta away it would be fine. He quickly decided to make waffles. Frisk loved waffles.

_she will love them. she always loved them, frisk, not chara. i am going to spend this day with frisk .and while i'm at it, i need to figure out what chara was capable of in her current state._

When Frisk finally came downstairs several minutes later, Sans had already prepared a serving for the two of them. He also unscrewed the lid of the syrup bottle. She'll love the waffles _extra sweet._

“You out of all people made waffles?”

“wasn't gonna make you eat paps spaghetti again. you hate them.”

She looked surprised when he pushed the plate into her hands.

“Thank you, Sans.”

“no biggie. come.”

He went over to the couch and signaled her to follow him as he sat down.

“oh if you want any syrup, the bottle is on the counter.”

His grin widened a bit when she took the bottle with her to the couch. After she sat down she pulled up the unscrewed lid and carefully poured the syrup over the waffles. _look at that, you're learning, frisk._

Sans wasn't going to let her have this small victory though. He tapped the back of the bottle so a huge gulp of syrup poured over her waffles, drowning them.

It was hard to hold back a laugh when he saw her utterly annoyed face, so he chuckled instead.

“thought you'd like your waffles extra sweet.”

“Oh you're so funny. You eat it then!”

“alrighty then.”

Sans just shrugged and swapped their plates, knowing she would skip breakfast entirely if he didn't. This time Frisk screwed the lid back on the bottle before squeezing a little bit on her food. Sans didn't mind the lake of syrup, he usually drank it from the bottle after all.

While Sans ate the soaked waffles in no time, he noticed that Frisk was barely eating. She was just cutting the waffles into small pieces and piercing some, only to put the fork down on her plate without actually eating anything.

“what's the matter, kiddo?”

“… She's in pain.”

“who?”

Sans knew who was meant, but asked anyways.

“Chara. Being inside of me hurts her. Can't we… do anything about that?”

“she's dead. don't think there is anything we can do to change that.”

Frisk slowly lifted the fork up, just to take one unenthusiastic bite off of the food, lazily chewing on it. The skeleton sighed.

“kiddo… i know you always want to help everyone, but… i don't think it will be possible like this.”

“What about Alphys? She knows a lot about Souls and Determination, right?”

“she does...”

He disliked the idea of helping Chara. While it may appear like she had changed her ways, who could guarantee him that his brother and his friends would be safe around her?

Frisk on the other hand seemed to really want to help her.

Sans thought back to the previous day before. Something had made him sure of the fact that the nightmare wasn't Frisk's but Chara's dream. And then her reaction. It reminded him of how small and vulnerable he and Papyrus used to be before the _incident._

Sans remembered overhearing a conversation about twelve years ago. Even after all those years and time skips he still remembered it. It had felt important at the time. _the first human who fell, chara, hated all of humanity._

There must have been something in her past that caused her to build up such an incredible amount of HATE that she would even go against all the monsters that used to be her family. Asriel, Toriel and Asgore had been nothing but kind to her.

Anger about the useless loss of life in the last timeline started boiling up again. How did she expect Sans to forgive her? All of the Underground's problems were her fault.

“Sans...?”

Frisks words pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked over to her and...

_not frisk's words. chara's._

Red eyes were looking at him. The plate had been emptied, so at least she had eaten something now.

“not you agian...”, he said annoyed while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“She wouldn't eat.”

“well you ate up now… so shoo.”

The girl looked away and nodded slightly while whispering a little 'sorry'.

Somehow this sorry stung a bit. It sounded defeated and full of regret and almost made him wonder if she really did feel sorry for what she did.

_not like that mattered, though._

“wait… ugh. you wanted me to forgive you, right?”

She kept looking away but gave another nod.

“look. it's really hard for me to believe you that you're actually sorry. but i know this means a lot to frisk. for frisk's sake i will help you to get out of her body.”

“I… I really **am** sorry…!”, she screamed while turning her head back to him. Surprised by the expression of guilt she had on her face he marveled how easily she could move even Frisk's face now. Maybe he admired it so much because he thought she wasn't capable of any emotions before and now these sudden outbursts were… _interesting._

“no need to scream. i hate loud noises.”, he growled.

“S-Sorry.”

Chara suddenly sounded so timid, so unlike that maniac that killed everyone.

“no need to be afraid of me.”

He paused.

”as long as you don't hurt anyone that is.”

“You really want to help me?”

“you looked like you were in really bad pain just now… papyrus will be worried sick.”

Even though he tried to argue with himself that he was doing this for Papyrus and Frisk, he mainly started to get interested in Chara. Her Determination seemed strong. Strong enough to keep her mind around for ten years, to take over a different human's body.

Her Soul was gone though. There was no vessel for all of that Determination. All other humans had faded, their only leftover being their soul. After he and Alphys had looked more into the Souls they concluded that only a memory of the people they once were remained in their Souls. Their Mind was gone. Chara was the exact opposite. She had no Soul on her own left, but still had her Mind. It must have been her enormous amount of Determination that allowed her mind to keep existing and it was her Mind that kept the Determination concentrated. But if he was to take out Chara's Mind from Frisks body she might go back to not being able to interfere with the timelines, out of reach of Sans' research.

_i can't let that happen._

“if we take you out of frisk... you might vanish.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again huge thanks to niemandweiter for proofreading, i would be lost without him xD
> 
> I'm sorry that this chapter took so long x.x  
> There were a few spots i gor stuck on x:


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